I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
