Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Quick, to the slutcave!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize