Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
