Please, let me fuck your mom
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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