why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
