i barfeds in our rink
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
