There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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