would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
