Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
