Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
