I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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