How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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