i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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