i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Shame - the story of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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