I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize