i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize