dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
