How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
