I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
