So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
