Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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