Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
