I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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