Duck Duck Cougar?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
love makes seman taste better
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im holly from the hills drunk
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
