my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i came on her dog
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
