I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
