I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
