too bad you live with your parents still
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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