i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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