well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
