She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
