sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize