So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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