apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
