If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
