i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
