Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
