You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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