I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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