Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
