I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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