I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
