You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
