when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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