CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
40s are totally the cure
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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