Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
