She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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