There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
