I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
