i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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