y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
