I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
where am i from again
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
