But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
