I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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