You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
