i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
