We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
