Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize