; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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