Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
