I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
