I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
