All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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