idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
