When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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