I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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