He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
