I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize