Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
pop tarts are not kleenex
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
