Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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