dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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