I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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