She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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