Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
