Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize